It was a comfortable August afternoon. The sun was shining, but it was not shining all day. In the morning, it was cloudy and mild outside. As the day went on, the sun came out and the weather became perfect. It was almost a miracle how quickly the weather had shifted through the day. Outside of my home, the house was transforming from old worn down siding to beautiful siding. It was not yet finished, and the new siding pieces were laying carelessly on the front lawn.

The weather and the time were two things I kept track of this entire day. I needed the weather to be perfect, perfect enough to wear a dress, but not be too sweaty while wearing it. I tried on outfit after outfit. One in particular I was fond of, a black tank top and floral skirt with an open flannel over it.

“You look like a trucker or something.” My father explained laughing.

My mom rolled her eyes at him, turned to me and said “It is not that bad, but is there anything else you can maybe wear?”

I went back into my room and raided my closet. From years and years of just throwing on leggings and a sweater, I had never anticipated needing something for this occasion. This was something that nobody anticipating happening. After at least three more outfit tries, I came across the perfect one. A casual black dress with a floral button down over it and pearls. This got approval from my mother and my father.

I got ready and looked in the mirror, and for the first time saw someone I had never seen before, one I began to think did not exist. The woman staring back at me was a beautiful, smart, strong confident one. It felt great to see all these great qualities in myself before leaving the house.

The hours away soon grew to minutes, as the time ticked away on my old grandfather’s clock and the minutes were both long and nerve racking. On one hand, I was a confident young woman who was very excited to go. I deserve this, after everything I have been through. All the pain and sorrow that the past year has thrown at me. I have been waiting for this all week, and have been anxious to finally let it happen. However, on the other hand I was a scared little girl. I was scared of how this could fail, and how bad this could possibly go. Scared that I would not be able to bring myself to speak actual words, or bring the fork to my mouth to eat. I had no idea how I would act, or how he would act once he picked me up. In the past, I have been able to handle situations like these, but after what happened, I had no idea how this would go. What if it all came back to me the minute he came in, and I was not able to handle any of it? There was only one thing to do; not think at all. I put my body in cruise control and tried my best not to excessively think about what was to come this night and especially not think of the ugly events of the past year.

Finally, the six o’clock hour hit, and soon a swarm of butterflies grew within me.

“Wait outside for him” ,my father suggested.

My face grew red even with that simple thought. How can he think to suggest that to me? Was he insane? Did he not know how nerve racking this was?

“Uh… No I think it’s fine” I replied shyly.

I approached the window very carefully, hoping he was not yet outside my door about to ring the doorbell. Nobody was there, I began to walk back by my couch calmly and sat with my mom, shaking with nerves. My mother understood how big of a deal this was to me. How this could possibly make or break how I thought of men. The bad experiences I had with my ex-boyfriend had really scared me. I closed myself off for a while and did everything I could to not meet anyone. But of course, someone in a heartbeat caught my eye and I became obsessed.

August 12, 1948, a nice Saturday evening. Jimmy Ferraro, my secret love since the beginning of the new year has finally asked me out. It took awhile for me to gather up the courage to even talk to him. Luckily my best friend Martha knew him from school. He was a year above me and just graduated, I was only entering my final year oh high school. Jimmy was handsome, smart, and very charming. His father was a part of the Italian mob, but Jimmy did not like violence and chose not to be a part of it. I remember one time specifically, we were having lunch at school with some friends. He told me when everyone left all about the terrible things his father does. Jimmy hated his father’s work and planned to work out of high school and go to college. Jimmy was very keen on making something of himself, unlike my ex-boyfriend. Jimmy wanted to do good things, have a good job and never be caught up in the mob business. He was such a gentleman too, once in the cafeteria I tripped and dropped my lunch on the ground. Without hesitation, Jimmy gave me his own lunch. Jimmy cared more that I, a lady was able to eat than that he eats. He was just that kind of guy, always putting others before himself, one of the many things I liked so much about him.

Butterflies grew within me as the minutes ticked by and I awaited Jimmy’s arrival on my doorstep. I was beginning to question if he would ever show. Maybe he was afraid to hurt me, or knew I would be nervous for this date. Maybe he found out how much I liked him and got scared away. Maybe he thought since my past was so bad he should not even bother to try for a future with me.

Just as these thoughts invaded my mind, the doorbell rang. I was too nervous to open up the door. My mother answered for me,

“Hi Mrs. Monroe, I’m Jimmy Ferraro it’s nice to meet you. “Jimmy said as he shook my mother’s hand.

“Yes Jimmy, I’ve heard a lot about you. Please do come in.” My mother replied smiling.

My brain hardly processed the fact that Jimmy Ferraro was coming into my house as he walked in. He had on a nice gray shirt with black slacks and black shoes. It was simple, yet it blew my mind. My heart fluttered as he walked over to me and took my hand. He knelt down before me and kissed the top of my hand. I looked away to try and hide my reddening cheeks.

“Are you ready to go, beautiful?” he asked. I couldn’t bring my words to my voice so I simply nodded and did my embarrassing nervous smile. I knew from this moment on that he was going to be good to me. That he was going to be the man to bring me out of the horror I faced, to help me forget my past. Jimmy Ferraro was going to be the man who made me see how great men can be. He would show me how a lady should be treated.

Jimmy had the entire night planned out for us, he really thought about this a lot and was clearly looking forward to it. I had no idea what would happen in the night, I didn't even know what to expect. I got absolutely no hints whatsoever, and his clothing could have been for a number of things. He led me to his car, a silver Chevrolet and sat down in the driver’s seat next to me. He was such a gentleman, he even came around to open my door for me before I entered the car.

The car, at first was silent. I was too nervous to say anything, and the radio was off. He began to drive out of my neighborhood, and towards the highway. He was a good driver, probably the best I have ever been with. He stopped in a familiar area of town, one of my favorites as a matter of fact, the urban area. The area was right in the smack of the Italian neighborhood, the Italian mob primarily lived here and protected these streets. It was a nice area though for a walk, they would never hurt anyone who did not hurt them. If you were from another mob, like the Irish mob you were in danger. If you were not affiliated with the mobs, you were safe. My neighborhood was very suburban, with a lot of the houses looking similar. There was no real ethnically prominent group in my neighborhood. Really anybody who wanted to live there did. I always thought this little city was so interesting. It was a center for Italian mob members, but still a nice place to be. There were little stores and restaurants everywhere. In this hidden gem of town was a park with a small body of water, the perfect place to lay back and look at the stars. The night was still young though, and there was more than enough time for me to embarrass myself before Jimmy would take me there. Who knows what could happen, I could trip on my way out of the car, walk into a door, spill food on myself, say something embarrassing, spill something on him…. The possibilities were infinite.

Jimmy turned off his car, and before I could even power my brain to open my door and walk out he opened the door for me.

“Thank you”  I squeaked blushing.

“ You got it, my lady” Jimmy replied.

His lady. His lady. We have not even arrived to wherever it is we were going and he was already calling me “His lady”.  

We began to approach town, he grabbed my hand. I was shaking even more than I was this whole time. He looked over at me and smiled.

“You know Violet, I really think this can be the start of something special.” Jimmy assured me as we walked from the parking lot towards town.

I looked over at him and began to blush a little. He went to hold my hand, but as instinct I pulled away.  Seeing how this upset him, I fixed my sleeve to be all the way down, and gently put his hand in mine. Our palms were barely touching, but our fingers were intertwined.

The last thing I wanted him to see were the scars from my past. Those scars were thing I regret doing the most in life. I tried to stay strong, but I broke and resorted to mutilation instead. It was too much for me to handle, with the relentless comments from the girls at school, to the betrayal from my ex-boyfriend. He took advantage of me, told me I was his dream girl and guilted me into going out with him. I was never too interested in him, but there was still something there, I knew it. He treated me like I was a filthy woman of the street, called me names and everything. When I had my father talk to him for me, he broke up with me and left me for my best friend Natasha. I could not handle any of it, and like most other people I broke. It took a while, but I eventually healed. I never told Jimmy of this, I never thought he would understand how I was feeling. Jimmy was tough, his father was in the Italian mob. How could somebody form such a strong, tough family ever understand feelings of this sort?

“You know Violet, you really shouldn’t be nervous. I like you a lot, and I will treat you the way you’re supposed to be treated. Like a lady. Nothing how that Thomas Finnegan treated you.” Jimmy said softly.

“I’m sorry Jimmy. I don’t know why I’m like this.” I almost whispered.

Thomas Finnegan, son of Irish mob leader Albert Finnegan.  Possibly the biggest mistake I have ever made behind my breakdown. It was a forced double date, and he never meant a thing to me. But my old best friend Natasha, his current girlfriend, insisted I go out with him. She said he was head over heels for me. I liked him, not as much as I liked Jimmy, but there was still something there. I got along with him well, and thought that we were a good match. He was very sweet to me before I agreed to go out with him, then after we started dating he was a total jerk to me. In the brief time we did go out, he was a total pig. He never opened any doors for me, or met my family, or even paid. One time we went for ice cream, and once we got back to my house he looked me in the eyes and said “you owe me five dollars”. I never expected him to pay all the time, but even a chimpanzee would know that a gentleman always pays for the first date. When we were together, there was always a part of him that liked Natasha. She was a lot like me, she liked the same things I did and shared most of my hobbies. She even looked kinda like me, but was slightly taller and had a very different voice. The resemblance was still there though, and he grew to want her more, and even saw her while we were still together. He broke up with my after my father spoke to him, he thought I was too high maintenance and demanding. I just wanted to be treated like I was a lady, and not an object. Natasha and I stopped being friends because of this, and she took up bullying me. It was a lot of betrayal and heartbreak for one year.

Jimmy and I headed towards a nice Italian restaurant. It was not anything too fancy, but it was still nice. Perfect for a first date and for how we were dressed. When I approached the table, Jimmy went right in front of me and pulled out my chair for me,like the true gentleman he is. I sat down as he waiter came over to our table, and brought over some drinking glasses and walked away.  I glanced up quickly, I felt somebody was watching me. Strangely enough, as I looked over to my side window I could just barely make out people walking quickly away. I cleaned my glasses quickly then looked back at Jimmy. The waiter came back with a pitcher of water.

“Do you folks know what you will be getting tonight?”

We just got in, and I haven’t even looked at the menu yet! But of course I was too shy to make this complaint.

“Yes, sir. I will have the Chicken Parmesan and the lady will have Baked Ziti.” Jimmy ordered.

Baked Ziti. How did he know that was my favorite dish? By the time the waiter collected our menus, I was smiling like an idiot.

“How did you know I love baked ziti? And Italian food?”

“Oh I do my homework” Jimmy replied winking at me.

Jimmy ferraro asked my friends about what I liked. Could anything be better than that?

Soon our food came, and the dinner was perfect. Jimmy and I kept conversation very well and really got to know each other. Soon, we were finished and Jimmy called over the waiter to get the check. I wanted to wash my hands and touch up my makeup before we went anywhere else. “Hey, I will be right back, I’m going to the ladies room.” I told Jimmy as I got out of my seat.

“Okay beautiful, I’ll miss you”
I blushed and replied “I’ll miss you too.”

The bathroom was very nice, it had longer stalls where the door went down to the floor. There was no way to see if anyone else was in here. I assumed there were a few people since the doors were closed. I washed my hands with the warm water, and was I did I looked down at my scars. Why did I do this to myself? The memory of this action hit me. And all of a sudden the lights began to flicker, then suddenly went out. The sink I used was still running in the dark. I did my best to remain calm as I turned the sink off, and walked towards the door. It must be a power outage right? Sometimes the humidity does that to the lights.

The door was locked. I tried the knob again, suddenly a single light went back on. I could barely make out the figure, but I was able to see what was in his hand. A long, shiny knife.

“Well, well well, if it isn’t Violet Monroe.”

I knew from there who it was, Thomas Finnegan, my ex-boyfriend.

“What do you want Tom?” I yelled, my voice almost struggling to sound calm.

“Wow. Is there any need for you to be so rude? Natasha, shut her up.” Thomas snapped back.

Of course, his new girlfriend Natasha Mulligan was with him. She tried to grab me and put her trashy hand over my mouth, but I turned around and pushed her off me. I could tell she was hurt from the noise she made.

“Oh get up, you worthless whore, and shut the girl up.” Thomas demanded.

Natasha got up again, but this time had something in her hand. I felt her come behind me and put her hand near my mouth. She put something over my lips. I tried to get it off, but it was stuck there.

“Now I have no idea who you think you are,  you little slut. You leave me in the cold, heartbroken with nobody but this trash. Good thing the broad has your looks. Then you go out with that scum Jimmy Ferraro? He don’t love you, he never will. I will and now you’re gonna be mine forever.” Thomas claimed as he came closer to me, knife out.

“What are you doing?? Why?” I tried to scream, but it was muted.

“What was that? You want me to kill you and have Natasha go out with Jimmy pretending to be you?” Thomas asked.

“Please Please I beg you. I will go out with you and only you.” I pleaded

“I’m sorry. I can’t quite make out what you’re saying. My friend here can help you out with that.”

Thomas was now so close to me, he was touching me. I felt the cold blade touch my neck. Never have I ever been so close to death in my entire life. It never felt so real, I never even thought something like this could happen to me. I couldn’t even fight, because no matter what Thomas Finnegan or someone else in his little mob would get to me. My life was over. I felt him slowly move the knife to the other side of my neck, when he was suddenly interrupted.

“Wait, what about her clothes? I need them.” I heard Natasha ask.

“Oh crap yea. Take them off her and make it snappy.” Thomas snapped.

Natasha got behind me and took off my sweater and my dress. She even took off the pearl necklace my father gave me and my shoes. I was sobbing at this point.

“Okay perfect. Now go in a stall and put them on. Ferraro will start to think something fishy is going on if you wait too long.” Thomas commanded.

Natasha turned the lights back on and went into a stall. Thomas brought me up to a mirror. I was in my black undergarments, my makeup was washed away and my eyes were puffy from sobbing. He brought the knife over to the very side of my neck. I knew from biology that major arteries were in the neck, which would cause for a quicker bloodier death. At least it would be over soon. He ran his other hand down my body and gazed at me.

“Such a shame such a beautiful girl has to die. But oh well, have fun in hell.”

Suddenly a glaring pain rose from my neck, and my hands were soon covered in blood. There was no hope. I was done for. I fell back on the floor of the bathroom, and focused on the ceiling as everything slowly….. Went…….. Black. Her last thought was about Jimmy, and how lucky she was to have spent her last day on earth with him.

In an instant, Jimmy began to feel a weird sense, a sense that something bad had happened. He looked over at the time, and noticed it has almost been twenty minutes since Violet had went to the bathroom. He began to think to himself, What was taking Violet so long? Why was she not back already? Was she okay in there? I looked around for a signs of her. Anything. It has been twenty minutes since I have last seen her. Did she ditch me?

I approached the bathroom, when she came out. She was wearing the same clothes, but something was off. It almost seemed as if I got a knock off Violet. Violet was so beautiful, smart and kind. I always had a thing for her, I never dated anyone else in High School because I was waiting for Violet. Nobody could ever replace her. The girl who walked out of the bathroom was slightly taller than Violet. She even walked differently than violet. I stared at her for a minute trying to think. Natasha Mulligan. Violet’s ex best friend, and her ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend.

“Natasha. Tell me where Violet is now.” I yelled. I was almost grabbing her as I said this.

“Oh Jimmy, what do you mean? I am right here.” Natasha said in her best “violet” voice.

“Natasha cut it out. Where is Finnegan, and where is Violet?” I practically screamed. Now my hands were on her.

Natasha began shaking, and could not speak. I saw Finnegan just of of the corner of my eyes holding a black bag over his shoulder walking out through the back of the restaurant. I quietly followed him. He put the black back on the ground near the trash. I finally made my appearance. He was in my dad’s neighborhood, the Italian neighborhood. If he tried anything I would be helped immediately.

“Okay Finnegan. Putting Natasha in Violet’s clothes was hilarious. Now where is she?”

He slowly turned around. “Oh Ferraro, you crack me up. Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy. Wanna see your little girlfriend? I just dumped her.” Thomas said laughing.

Dumped her? What did that mean by that? They broke up months ago. He could not have meant what I thought he did. Everyone involved in a mob knows you do not ever touch women, it is the most unethical thing anyone could do. Scum who killed women deserved to be killed, it was a disgusting terrible thing to do. Especially to someone as sweet as Violet, she never did anything wrong to Thomas. She tried her best to be good to him and did everything she could have done for him.

Suddenly as I almost suspected, Thomas opened his black bag, and dumped Violet’s bloody half naked body out of it. She was covered in her own blood, he stripped her down to her undergarments. He could not even respect her enough to leave her in her own clothes and necklace. This was possibly the most gruesome unethical way to kill a woman.

“You dirtbag. You killed her. She’s a woman and you killed her.”

I have never felt so disgusted by anything in my entire life. Even when my dad killed, it was always men who wronged him. Never a woman.

I was approaching him. I wanted to beat him so bad. Anger grew within me, I clenched my hands into fists as they shook. I quickly went over to him, but he seemed to be backing away.

SNAP…. His head turned almost entirely and he fell to the ground. My own father came from behind him.

“Sorry son, but any scum who kills a woman deserves that fate.” My father explained.

“It’s alright dad, I wanted to do the same thing. I just didn’t know how.” I paused and really thought about what I was about to say, “ I think it’s about time I started taking after your work.” I replied.

I always hated the work my dad and others did with the mob, but there was nothing else I could do to make sure nobody is ever given the same treatment Violet was. I felt it was my duty to protect other women just like her, and keep the Irish mob away from our women.

“You sure Jim? It’s a lot and I know you aren’t crazy about it.”

I walked up and put my arm around my father. “Nobody else is gonna come into our neighborhood and kill a woman. The Finnegan’s will pay for what they did to Violet. Every last one of them. Next I’ll get the son, Daniel.”

“I’m proud of you son.” My father said patting my back.

Years later, Jimmy Ferraro became a strong member of the Italian Mob. He never loved again, only tried to find vengeance for his lovely Violet. He became as stone cold and serious as his father was. Nothing like what he wished he turned out as after High School. Jimmy went through every male Mulligan and Finnegan, and made sure Violet Monroe was always remembered in the neighborhood.