Throughout adolescence I have tried to find a place where I belong. I remember early as kindergarten I begged my parents to let me get a fancy backpacks like everyone else had. I wanted the cool army green knapsack my grandmother had given me, but instead I chose to try and fit in. While every other girl in my class wanted to play with Barbie dolls, I preferred to play dinosaurs with some of the boys in my class, but I still played Barbie with them to try to fit in. In Middle School and the beginning of High School I played Field Hockey. I loved playing the sport, but to an extent I saw it as a social outlet, I wanted to make the coolest friends and be well known.  I was desperate to be included in Pasta Parties, secret team rituals, and be considered a part of the athlete community.  But I never really felt like I truly fit in with this community.  Then, in my Junior year, I left behind my life as an athlete and decided to take the year to focus on myself;  it was my High School Experience and I wanted to try and enjoy it rather than be miserable all the time. I started taking courses I that interested me, and participating in activities that I wanted to. I realized how unhappy trying to “fit in” made me. Doing my own thing made me feel great, and drove me to succeed.   I finally realized that, when it really comes down to things, I am not part of any established community. Since I came to this realization, I  stopped caring what others think and did what made me happy I choose my own friends, many of which have no common extracurricular activities or academic interests and me.

I have many sides to me. I am athletic but lazy, a hard worker but procrastinator, and extroverted introvert, a left brained right brained, I am a walking paradox. I have many interests that all are very different from each other. On one hand, I love music and dancing, I play in the band and love to have fun performing and listening to the music. On the contrary I also love history and academic clubs. I am heavily involved in the Mock Trial Team and the History Honor Society. Yet still, on the contrary to that I love science, and reading scientific journals and being a part of experiments. There is nothing I love more than laying in my bed, or vegging on the couch. Yet every single weekend I find myself hiking for five miles or more, even in the freezing cold. To contrast from everything I just mentioned even more, my favorite subject is French. I absolutely love speaking French and study it more than anything else. I especially love when my friends and teachers who speak French will talk to me.

I have many interests, and am part of several communities. I take part in a lot of activities. I do a lot more in the school than the average student does. Yet, I still feel lonely at times and discluded, or like I am an outsider because of how busy I am and how many different interests I have. The truth is, I am not like most people. I am one of a kind in many ways. Unlike most students, I prefer a quiet night out with one friend over a party. A night out for me is going to the diner with my best friend, or seeing a movie. I have a lot of friends at school, but I am only close to a few people who I hang out with the most. I have friends in my classes, and friends I do clubs and honor societies with. I even have friends I know from volunteering.. Yet despite all these “connections” I still chose the company of the few over the many. At the same time, I can be around people without getting upset. I can talk in front of people very well, yet I prefer not to. I prefer to be known for my academic achievements and work ethic than to be known for being “cool” or “popular.”  I find that I do not need to be a part of a community to feel good about myself. Labels are meant for products, not for people and I choose not to label myself or confine my infinite interests into one category. Being a part of a community may be valuable to other students, and I mean no disrespect to any of them. However, as the unique individual I am I choose to surpass labels and continue to live the way I wish to and allow my interests to evolve as I do.