Over the course of the week I have received some heart shattering news. My grandfather’s cancer spread and has become so severe that with chemo and radiation, he has less than a year to live. Hearing that was one of the worst things I have ever heard in my entire life. So, what exactly is the effect that a cancer diagnosis has on a family? And what are some ways to help the effect and make it more positive than negative? 

My whole family has been a wreck. My mom hasn’t stopped crying. My grandmother is making herself physically sick. My dad is the only one working. My grandfather is defeated, even before he has started his fight. Emotions are extremely high, and  being the youngest family member, what can I do to fix these things or make them better?  Maybe you have someone in your family or someone you know that is going through the same situation. Maybe you are going through the same experience and have no clue how to help. So here is my Anti-Cancer Game Plan. Although there may not be anything I can do to help with the actual cancer, or how to fix the emotional hurt my family is going through, I can find a way to make the next few months some of the best months my family has ever had. Even though this is supposed to repair my family’s hurt and "broken-heartedness," this is overall a way to lift my Pop-Pop's spirits up and make his last months ones that we all will remember. So where do we start?

First off, we gotta start with how to stop the frowns from forming and the crying. Yes, crying is okay, especially in the situation that my family, and other families, may be going through. But, it isn’t good for the loved one suffering with the cancer. My grandfather is already defeated and has no faith that there is any hope for him. He feels as if we are looking at the end. I don’t blame him because everyone is so hum drum. So what can I do?

Game Plan Part 1: Be crazy. Do things that you normally wouldn’t do to receive laughs and smiles. Take the family out or give the family ideas to go do things that we have never done before. Create a day to day agenda to get the family together and to go out and do something. Since it is fall, some things you could do is Friday Night Lights football game, carving pumpkins, dress up for halloween, go on a hayride. Do things to make your loved one feel normal and not have the burden of being weighed down from cancer. Make the family feel like they can forget about the cancer as something that is dreadful and horrific.

You have to make your loved one feel like they are loved and cared for. Make sure that you do anything and everything you can with them before they are gone.

Game Plan Part 2: Don’t get mad or frustrated when your loved one asks you to do something with or for them. Do it without hesitation. Ask if they need anything else. Go out of your way to make them feel special. Spend more time than normal with them, make them food, make art for them, watch movies with them, take walks with them or just be with them. I know when I hangout and do things for my grandfather, he peps up. When I do things, he gets the strength and motivation to do the same things. Even if it is as simple as making a cup of coffee.

Along with that, make them feel like everything is alright. Even though they may be gone soon, make them feel like the most important person in the world. Don’t show them that you are slowly breaking inside, don’t cry in front of them, and don’t get mad at them or blame them for having cancer. I know for myself, I have had to be strong for my whole family. I haven’t had the time to cry or to be sad. I just deal with it. However, it is okay. It is okay to be sad and upset. It is okay to think about the memories and cry over them.

Game Plan Part 3, The Final Part: When you are with your family, reassure them that everything will be okay. Let your loved one know that there will be an empty void in your heart when they go, but let them know that you are thankful for every single moment you have spent with them. Tell them how much you adore and love them. Never leave without giving them a hug and a kiss because you never know when that day will be, when you wake up and they are no longer here. Cry with your family, but not too much. You still need to be their support.

I have always thought that when cancer wins the battle with my grandfather, that I wouldn’t be able to cope, and move on, but I truly believe that if I make every day an adventure for him, making his last months on earth here with us the greatest he has ever had, that will help me mourn and move on. Before I end this on a sad note, always remember that you never know what could happen. Things work in mysterious ways; there is always a chance that your loved one, in my case my grandfather, will win the fight against cancer and will come out strong. We never know and it is out of our hands. My game plan is to help me accept the terms that have been given to me. So I hope if you are going through something similar it helps you too. Everything will be okay.