Dear Ani,

   The past few Thanksgivings I have spent with my family have slowly become more annoying. They always ask the same questions to my cousins and I. We never know how to reply politely.

  Around the time of this holiday, there has been a meme circulating about how to “clap back” at the pressing questions that relatives always ask. The meme basically shows witty responses that I wish I could reply with. I was just wondering how to answer the never-ending stream of pointless and repetitive questions.

  Some of the questions I might need help answering: Where are you going to college? Do you have a significant other? Did you gain weight? How is school going? Do you play a sport? Do you go out a lot? Are you doing well in your classes?

  I also don’t know how to respond to comments such as “You look just like your [insert random relative that I do not know here].” Or “Oh, the last time I saw you, you were this big.” Then they put their hand hip height. Usually, the person who says this to me is someone I have never seen in my life.

  Please help me navigate the struggles of family gatherings.

Sincerely,

Stressed Turkey

Dear Stressed Turkey,

  Family can be stressful to be around sometimes, but it is all about knowing how to respond respectfully and appropriately. Family get-togethers are about spending time with relatives, and while you cannot choose them, you are stuck with them for the night. Make the most of the night by answering questions in a way that will keep the peace among the table.

  When your aunts, uncles, and grandparents ask questions, tell them the truth in a clear and concise way. This will aid in the conversation ending quickly and avoid any more hard questions.

  Preparing answers for questions that are commonly asked can be a great way to ease some anxiety that comes with holidays.

  For example, try being the most respectful in your answers; no matter how disrespectful the questions are. When the college question arises, give them a truthful answer. They may only be making small talk, so just start off with what some plans may be after school. If there is no plan yet then it is fine to say that.

  It is better to be honest, especially if they start to ask more specific questions. As far as the significant other, it may be best to just say no if you may not want more inquiries about the person.  It is tempting to clap back at relatives, but try to avoid spoiling the party.  

  To respond to comments, always say thank you when the comment was a compliment. Then politely pretend that you remember the person who is speaking. Smile and nod.

 Good luck with the family, and enjoy the holiday.

Kind regards,

Ani