She Used to Be
- from Brooke Lindsay
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- First Love Christian Academy
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- 1852 views
For the girl who sits in the back of the classroom has a story to tell. I bet you had no idea she used to care about so much and so many by just looking into her lifeless self. She is so used to being told how she should feel and think that the grin that comes across her face as she laughs while you try to make her something of your own image beings to frighten you. She used to be on top of it all until reality decided to introduce itself into this young independent woman's life. You see, this girl lost the people she cared about all at once. First, she let go of a childhood friend who had seen her through it all, they just recently started talking again after a little over six months; yet, nothing can ever be the same. This piece in the girl's life is now missing. The only thing you can find is numbness. People are nasty and fake. Did you know that the people around you were liars? Did you know that their, "I love you" were fake. Those tears you seen them cry over the thought of you not being there just makes you want to vomit because of how much effort you put forth into making their happiness more important than your own. Those times you talked them out of suicide because you actually cared enough to stay up with them till four in the morning and you talk, but then, it hits you. "Wow. How you wouldn't do something like that to her." She ends up telling everyone that you had changed. Sweetie no, you did. The changing in her took place right after that piece left. Then the next, and the next, and the next. This part of her was left cold; practically numb. She still wouldn't let her head fall. Been cheated and misused, the girl than turned to the love of her life. Even though he has mistreated her before, he seems to fill up her numbness. She is so in love that she will do anything to keep him happy. For a year now she has tried. Do you remember that frightening grin? Well, it appears across her face as she gains the balls to look him dead in the eyes and say, "I'm done." What love was it really? He asked out one of the girls who cussed to look her dead in the eyes and say, "I love you," just like he did. Liars go perfect together. As she watches him walk away with her heart, a little bit of that numbness turns into rage. But, when you're sitting in lunch by this girl who is starring at her food like it is about to do an amazing trick, ask yourself why she seems so well, numb. Then ask yourself who you trust, and what does that even mean?