Just a Swipe 

 

 

Characters: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Tinder

 

(Apple just released the nominees for Best Application of 2019. Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter are having a conversation in an old myspace outlet before the Application Awards begin. All three apps are nominated in the Best Application category and a couple of other small awards. The awards ceremony will begin soon.)   

 

Facebook- Guys, I can not believe we made the cut!

 

Instagram- Yeah, I can not believe you did. I knew I would make it. 

 

Twitter- Congrats guys! I am so tempted to retweet our nominations.

 

Instagram- OMG please do not.

 

Facebook- Are you kidding? I think itś a wonderful idea!

 

Instagram- That’s what Mark said when he created you circa some year in the 2000s. The only thing wonderful about you is those old generations can rant about their back pains and Obama care. 

 

Twitter- I mean, you’re not completely wrong….

 

(Facebook starts turning red) 

 

Facebook- Geez Insta, do you ever think about what you say to people? I would love to tell you to get your face out of this outlet but I forgot you have a rinsta, and a finsta. 

 

Twitter- Now that is retweet worthy. 

 

Instagram- Last I checked Twitter, most people use you while they are going to the bathroom. 

 

Twitter- Yeah well people use you just to take pictures. That’s literally it. 

 

Facebook- I have reunited people all over. None of you can beat that. 

 

Instagram-  Oh yeah? How many likes do your followers get? Mine get millions.

 

Twitter- This is going nowhere, guys. Just like in our country.

 

Instagram-  He who must not be elected President also goes to the bathroom when he tweets on you. 

 

Facebook- Ha! Retweet that! 

 

(Twitter gives Instagram an eye roll)

 

Twitter- No time for that. The awards ceremony is starting soon.

 

Instagram- Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Well obviously, I will win. You two imbeciles are gonna end up crying to my…

 

Facebook- Mainframe?

 

Instagram- No, my comment box.

 

Facebook- I was going to say do you even have a mainframe. “Instagram” sounds like the cereal equivalent of instant oatmeal. 

 

Instagram- Well, “Facebook” sounds like the literary term for a facepalm.

 

Twitter- And what about me? Let me guess! A twit that tweets?

 

Instagram- You clearly do not know me- cause I was going to say something different.

 

Facebook- Hey! The awards are starting in five! 

 

(Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter all walk over to the Microsoft Theater down the road. There are a ton of applications in attendance. The opening speech is given by the host. The first award announced is Most Accurate Application) 

 

Twitter- No way- most accurate application goes to the News app? This is fake news I say. Fake!

 

Facebook- Almost as fake as Insta’s profile.

 

Instagram- At least I have a profile. Your people’s profiles haven’t been changed since before puberty. 

 

Twitter- Well I am definitely quoting twitter on this fakeness.

 

(The next award is Best Social Media Application in which both Instagram and Twitter were nominated in the category. The next presenter announces that Snapchat is the winner) 

 

Instagram- Well great! This is not okay. TGIF! I’m already off to a bad start. I knew Twitter was not gonna get it but I was sure I would. 

 

Twitter- Jesus Insta. That’s not necessary! Snapchat is quite popular so I understand!

 

Instagram- Oh shut up you tweeting twit!

 

(The host is now announcing Best Revival) 

 

Instagram- Next award is the best revival, OMG, I swear if Vine wins I will literary blackout.

 

(Vine is announced as the winner)

 

Twitter- And….Vine wins.

 

Facebook- Here comes the blackout. All them Insta users are gonna be mad.

 

Instagram- I am blacking out.

 

Twitter- What’s with Insta’s Vine obsession? 

 

Facebook- Insta basically posts tons of Vine videos and memes based on those videos like every week. Posting vines is like Insta’s favorite thing to do. 

 

Twitter- Well that’s stupid. That’s even lamer than you. And I thought your current usage status was pretty lame. 

 

Facebook- Sure. Ratings for me have gone down a bit….been hacked a few times. But hey, at least I don’t have to worry about that fake junk.

 

Instagram- Imbeciles! Pay attention! They are now announcing Best Movie Application. I totally voted for Hulu. Sometimes I feel it gets less attention.  

 

Facebook- Probably comes from your attention addiction. I voted for Netflix.

 

Instagram- Of course you voted for Netflix. I chose Amazon because it’s a killer.

 

Facebook- Haha! Remember when Netflix was everyone's favorite? Good times!!

 

Instagram- That is so 2015. Get a life dude. Oh, wait! You’re probably stuck in all those unfriended cobwebs. 

 

(The next presenter announces the nominees for Best Photography Application which are: Pinterest, Instagram, The Camera App, and Pic Collage. Pinterest is announced as the winner)  

 

Facebook- Oh no….here it comes…

 

Instagram- Um….WHAT? Imma….I’m about to pull a Daenerys on this damn academy!

 

Twitter- Insta calm down, you’re making a scene! No need for burning anyone! 

 

Facebook- Can everyone just shut up for one second!

 

Twitter- Dang we are struggling. Maybe the Myspace outlet was a bad idea for a meetup.

 

Instagram- Myspace has always been a black hole.

 

(A couple of apps shush Instagram. Instagram turns around and points the “ unfollow “ on their accounts) 

 

Facebook- Medias will do that to you. Guys, there are only two more awards until our category so can you please all like shut the hell up. 

 

Twitter- Hey! That is some rude comment there. My setting page is trembling.

 

Instagram- The only thing trembling will be you two when I win the award so byeeeeeeeee……

 

Twitter- You wish.

 

Facebook- Ok, it’s the Best Enterarintment Game award. 

 

(Harry Potter A Hogwarts Mystery wins) 

 

Facebook- Oh yes! This is great. Scared Twitter?

 

Twitter- “You wish”. 

 

Instagram- Honestly thought that Trivia Crack would win. The Application Academy is definitely cracking by the minute. Soon there will be nothing left.

 

Facebook- Focus guys! Last award before ours! Best Music App! 

 

(The host announces the nominees for Best Music Application) 

 

Twitter- Obviously, it will be Spotify. Apple music annoys peoples nowadays. 

 

Instagram- Yeah for once I agree with you. 

 

(Youtube wins Best Music Applications. Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook start laughing hysterically.) 

 

Twitter- The twit that tweets is shook.

 

Facebook- Hahahaaaah! Youtube! 

 

Twitter- That is pure gold. All it does is a glitch and advertise. Honestly what the heck is wrong with the academy? 

 

Instagram- These awards are rigged, almost as much as the 2016 election! 

 

Twitter- Haha, anyway our award is about to be announced!!! 

 

Instagram- This is the moment all my likes pay off. 

 

(The final presenter walks up and begins speaking. All three apps are in a category with a total of six apps. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are sweating faster than the spread of Wikileaks) 

 

Twitter- THIS IS IT!

 

(The nominees are: Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Tinder. And the winner of Best Application of 2019 goes to…… TINDER)

 

Facebook: What? 

 

Twitter: What the…..

 

Instagram: WHAT THE HECK!

 

Facebook-What in the name of someone’s head! Tinder? TINDER?

 

Instagram- This is inconceivable. This is FAKE! FAKE! 

 

Twitter- Woah! Guys relax! You’re making a scene!

 

Instagram- I DON’T CARE. I SHOULD HAVE WON. TINDER IS SO…

 

(Facebook turns on Instagrams mute button)  

 

Twitter- Well thank the lord. 

 

Facebook- It was about time someone did that. I just could not take Insta’s blasphemous bumbling barking box anymore. 

 

(All three apps give one another a look when Tinder begins to give an acceptance speech)

 

Tinder- Thank you so much! I want to thank the academy and my fans for choosing me for this award. I am proud to know that my users genuinely enjoy what I give them. It has been a great honor to bringing couples together. One of my biggest inspirations is Facebook. Thank you so much, Facebook for showing the importance of creating relationships. No one has truly done it better than you. NOt eHarmony, not Bumble, and not even Christian Mingle. Thank you for being my inspiration! 

 

Twitter- I am speechless.

 

Facebook- Well darn…..

 

(Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter just sit in awe after Tinder’s speech) 

 

Tinder- And just remember! All it takes is just a swipe! 

 

Facebook- Just a swipe…

 

Twitter- Just a darn swipe.

 

(The awards ceremony ends and all the applications leave the Microsoft theater along with Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, who all walk towards the Uber Eats after party) 

The End.